Each time I drive up the long narrow roadway, nothing but grassy, open fields to my left and to my right, and that God forsaken giant wall ahead, I still have moments when I think to myself, "How did I get here?" Church girl, college educated, Master's degree, fairly accomplished in my career.
What am I doing here??
It's something about seeing that wall in the distance that makes me sad and makes my mind drift for a moment. Still, I continue driving as I make my way to the visitor's section of the parking lot.
As always, the first thing I do is a quick look around to see how many other cars are there. I try to arrive as early as they'll allow (usually around 7:30 A.M.) so I can grab a number. Processing for visiting starts at 8:30. The waiting room fills up fast -- particularly on weekends -- so the later I arrive, the longer it takes before I can get checked in, searched, and make my way to the visiting room. Every single second of every single visit is so precious that any moment wasted feels like a stolen opportunity with the person you love.
This is visiting a loved one in prison. For me personally, it's a traumatic experience each time I go. More on that in a later post I suppose. For now, this is an introduction. To me and my new reality of being in a relationship with a man who's incarcerated.
We were both friends and lovers some years ago and reconnected this year. We're seven months into our relationship and -- due to court sentencing that took place in July -- we have seven years to go before he gets home.
Seven years.
I know exactly what you're thinking. I know because I've had all of the same thoughts while this has transpired over the course of this year. And yet, here I am. Embracing the situation as my new normal.
Trust me, it still doesn't make sense to me either. I think I've finally reached a point where I stopped trying to figure things out. Instead of wondering how to get through it and worrying how people will perceive us, I've tuned everything out and instead tuned IN to God and my heart's desires.
With that said, you're invited to follow us along this journey. Our purpose in sharing the journey has little to do with a love story, but everything to do with God's love for us and his magnificent power to sustain you through even the most unimaginable of circumstances.
In the posts that follow, we'll share the experience both from behind the prison walls and from the outside. We'll share the ups, the downs, the joys, the fears, the laughter (there's so much laughter), the prayers, and everything else that comes with this new reality.
We welcome your comments and we solicit your prayers. Peace and blessings in Jesus name.
Love,
Her
Postmark: October 2017
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