The end of the year is near and I told myself I wouldn't carry this into 2018. It took several weeks of prayer, a week of pumping myself up, and another week of repeated rehearsals in my head before I finally just picked up the phone and did it.
"Mom, where's Daddy? I need to talk to you two about something."
The entire thing was like an outer body experience. I remember being in the middle of a sentence, my mouth moving, and words coming out, but in my head I was saying to myself, "I'm doing it. There's no turning back. Was this a mistake? Am I sure?" I was already in the middle of it by that point so I had no choice but to keep going.
I unloaded everything.
How I spent this entire year visiting three different prisons (update: he was shipped away to his new facility which ended up being just three hours away. Thank you, Lord!). Why he's there, how he got there, even his previous time served and the charge from that case. I shared the amount of time he was given and my intention to wait and endure the next 7 years with him. I told them I wanted to be absolutely clear on what this was not. This was not me 35 and desperate for a man nor was it me settling in any way. Also, what this wasn't was me being fascinated with jail life or some bad boy image.
On the other hand it was and has been and continues to be deeply, deeply spiritual. I shared examples of how I felt God had shown his hand was upon us throughout this year and how we've seen specific prayers we'd prayed together come to pass. But more than anything, I stressed the happiness I have in being with him. For the first time ever, I told my parents that I loved a man and that I was in love with him.
In total, the conversation lasted an hour and 20 minutes. I'll spare you every detail of who said what and which one of my parents I had to talk off the ledge. Just kidding. Thankfully -- and to my pleasant surprise -- there was no ledge climbing. The confession was met with love, open-mindedness, acceptance, support, and prayer. Dad did most of the speaking and what it boiled down to was to seek God about it daily in order to be absolutely, totally sure and to let God direct my path. The conversation was very intense, but again, I'll spare the details. Mom was on the same page, but then went into giggly girl talk after all the heavy stuff was out the way.
To say I'm relieved is an understatement. I didn't want to go into 2018 hiding this secret from my parents. Also, I'd shared with him that it wasn't fair for me to keep our relationship hidden. And with that said, to say he was happy is yet another understatement. I've never heard him so excited before.
Love,
Her
Postmark: December 2017
"Mom, where's Daddy? I need to talk to you two about something."
The entire thing was like an outer body experience. I remember being in the middle of a sentence, my mouth moving, and words coming out, but in my head I was saying to myself, "I'm doing it. There's no turning back. Was this a mistake? Am I sure?" I was already in the middle of it by that point so I had no choice but to keep going.
I unloaded everything.
How I spent this entire year visiting three different prisons (update: he was shipped away to his new facility which ended up being just three hours away. Thank you, Lord!). Why he's there, how he got there, even his previous time served and the charge from that case. I shared the amount of time he was given and my intention to wait and endure the next 7 years with him. I told them I wanted to be absolutely clear on what this was not. This was not me 35 and desperate for a man nor was it me settling in any way. Also, what this wasn't was me being fascinated with jail life or some bad boy image.
On the other hand it was and has been and continues to be deeply, deeply spiritual. I shared examples of how I felt God had shown his hand was upon us throughout this year and how we've seen specific prayers we'd prayed together come to pass. But more than anything, I stressed the happiness I have in being with him. For the first time ever, I told my parents that I loved a man and that I was in love with him.
In total, the conversation lasted an hour and 20 minutes. I'll spare you every detail of who said what and which one of my parents I had to talk off the ledge. Just kidding. Thankfully -- and to my pleasant surprise -- there was no ledge climbing. The confession was met with love, open-mindedness, acceptance, support, and prayer. Dad did most of the speaking and what it boiled down to was to seek God about it daily in order to be absolutely, totally sure and to let God direct my path. The conversation was very intense, but again, I'll spare the details. Mom was on the same page, but then went into giggly girl talk after all the heavy stuff was out the way.
To say I'm relieved is an understatement. I didn't want to go into 2018 hiding this secret from my parents. Also, I'd shared with him that it wasn't fair for me to keep our relationship hidden. And with that said, to say he was happy is yet another understatement. I've never heard him so excited before.
Love,
Her
Postmark: December 2017
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